Tag: faith

April 3, 2021 Hannah Pannell

Come. See. Go. Tell.

Our belief about the resurrection determines a pivotal point of our faith: Do we believe that God is living and active, or is He a thing of the past, defeated by this world?
Matthew 28 gives us a unique glimpse at this monumental day. In this passage, two women were traveling to visit the tomb of their friend Jesus following his public crucifixion. It seems important that we acknowledge the intimacy of their relationship. After all, it was Mary Magdalene from whom Jesus had cast out seven demons. These women were more than just followers, they were friends. And on this day, they were likely confused and weary friends, mourning the death of a man dear to them. It was in this desire for a final moment of nearness to their Savior that these women would walk into likely the most significant moment of their lives.
Let’s walk with them for a moment.
Upon their arrival at the tomb, the angel immediately dispels their fear. Surely, standing at the empty tomb would have quickened their hearts and ushered in a sense of panic. I have a hunch, however, that the angel’s next phrase brought them the greatest peace: He is not here; He has risen, just as He said. This phrase is nothing short of miraculous; the very utterance of Jesus’s resurrection has extreme implications for our faith. Yet, my favorite part of the phrase is the last several words: just as He said.  Jesus had promised His return; He assured His followers that death would be defeated. The angel’s words remind us of this one monumental truth: Jesus keeps His promises.
Immediately after his proclamation of the resurrected King, the angel invites the women to come and see. Is that not what we are seeking still today? We want someone to usher us in, to validate our fears and doubts, and invite us to come and see. Jesus is never afraid of the invitation; our doubts never prove too much, because His life and His Word hold up. The invitation of the angel sounds to me much like the one Jesus gave to Thomas when he extended his nail-scarred hands to wash away Thomas’s doubts. Come and see. It has always been our invitation.
The call does not end here. We must enter in, we must come and see, but there is more. The women did not stop at the sight of the empty tomb. The angel first offered them an invitation: come and see, but he next offered them an opportunity: go and tell.
Our call is much the same today.  Jesus invites us in and then offers us the opportunity to go and tell. Ours is a gospel made for multiplying. It is in our obedience that God is most pleased. He wants us to come and see. He wants us to know more of Him, to taste and see that He is good. Then He desires that we would go and tell of the wonders of His love. Once we have tasted His goodness, to go and tell is a natural outpouring.
Surely, these two women could have walked away from the tomb in fear that day the way many of us choose to walk away from God opportunities. The news of the resurrection would have made its appearance without them, but they would have missed a golden opportunity. God does not need us, but He chooses us. In His rising, He resurrects the dead parts of our lives and invites us to a grander unfolding story. Let’s not miss this. May we never live as if the stone was not rolled away.
 
1. What is God inviting you into today? How can you come and see more of Him?
 
2. What opportunity is He offering you to go and tell? How can your life reflect the truth and glory of the resurrection?
April 20, 2020 Hannah Pannell

1 in 10…

The month of April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. According to the Children’s Advocacy Center of Tennessee, nearly 700,000 children are victims of abuse in the US annually and 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused by their 18th birthday. This topic hits close to home for me for many reasons. 

First of all, I teach in a title 1 school with high rates of childhood trauma. Every year, I handle child abuse cases. I’ve collaborated with Child Protective Services, Guardian Ad Litems, and Detectives in my role as a teacher and a mandated reporter. Bearing witness to the stories my students live is equal parts brutal and beautiful.

Additionally, my husband and I are foster parents. We have fostered a handful of teens in emergency and respite placements. Their stories, while each unique, all carry the weight of abuse or neglect in some form. Because of the privilege we’ve been given to be a small part of their stories, we’ve chosen to dive deep into training and knowledge on abuse and trauma.

But finally, and most personally, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. This issue is close to my heart because I’ve lived it. I’ve written about my story in the past here and even featured a host of other stories from guest posters of their own personal stories of sexual abuse. 

A couple years ago, I performed this spoken word piece in which I shared my story with those closest to me for the first time.

I’d shared my story a few times before, but this felt extra sacred because it was face to face with my people. People who knew me well, but had never heard my story. Over the course of the next year, friends and acquaintances who shared stories much like mine came out of the wood work. I felt and continue to feel so privileged to hold space for their stories with them. If you’re reading this and happen to share a similar story, can I share some encouragement with you? I read these words in Jen Hatmaker’s book Of Mess and Moxie several years ago and posted them on my mirror as a daily reminder. Maybe you need them too.

“This is not who you are. This happened to you, but it does not define you. You are not broken. You are not ruined. You are not destined to a lifetime of sexual dysfunction. You will become the exact person God intended all along, and you will be stronger in these fragile places than you were before it happened. This is a part of your story, not the end of it, and you will overcome. Not only that; you will thrive. If God is truly strongest where we are weakest, then He will win in this place.”

These words are my prayer for you fellow survivors. Amen and amen!

This April, awareness feels extra close to my heart. With recent school closures due to COVID-19, I worry about my students and children everywhere in unsafe home environments and abusive situations. I was recently interviewed about the effect of school closures on reports of child abuse in a great article you can find here.

No doubt, there are children and adults in crisis around our world right now. Being quarantined and stuck at home can make us feel helpless but this is not the case.

In honor of Child Abuse Prevention Month, here are a few suggestions of how we can be part of the solution:

  • Interested in becoming a foster parent? Now is the time! Use these free evenings to start the process. Many agencies are even doing online trainings for certification during this time. 
  • Support organizations like Virginia’s Kids Belong who provide advocacy, awareness and support in all avenues of the process from foster families to social workers. 
  • Be a good neighbor. See something? Say something. With many children away from their safety nets full of mandated reporters (school, YMCA, daycare, church), the risk for them is greater. Let’s all take on this responsibility. You can find the hotline numbers for reporting here. 
  • Consider becoming a CASA volunteer.
  • Be a safe person for your own kids and the kids in your life. Disclosure is hard, but it’s the first step to healing. Make sure you are someone your kids and other kids can talk to if they need to. 

Let’s all be part of the solution this April. 

September 13, 2019 The Glorious Table

Holiness Over Happiness

In 2014, Victoria Osteen made a statement that quickly hit the internet. “God wants you to be happy” she asserted. I remember rolling my eyes at her cheapened prosperity gospel. It’s not that God wants us to be miserable, but Scripture doesn’t support the idea that his chief aim is our happiness. The entire concept seemed not only naïve to me but an illegitimate concern in the circles of faith where I was a participant.

Fast forward five years, and I realized that some of that thinking had been illuminated in my own life. I’d been believing the same false gospel Osteen preached. I’d bought the lie that, if my life as a Christian looked happy, people would know Jesus is good. If my marriage looked happy, people would know Jesus is good. And if my husband and I were happy foster parents, people would know Jesus is good.

This idea is not only unbiblical; it’s downright dangerous.

Some seasons of my life didn’t fit nicely into this logic. I wrestled with God during some hard and unhappy times, and I now see they were the beginning of the undoing of my wrong understanding. The first came when I was nineteen and spending a summer in Africa caring for orphans. During that trip, I journaled that my heart was both brimming with joy and breaking with loneliness while doing one of the best and hardest things I’ve ever done. But I felt the burden to present only the happy side of the story to my supporters and church back home. 

Click here to read the rest at The Glorious Table —>

January 8, 2018 Hannah Pannell

Top 17 of 2017

1. I built a life in a new town, a new house and with a new job.

This year has been full! I’ve officially lived in my house for one entire year and it has been everything I could have ever dreamt of. I’m wildly grateful, and even though I’ll begin packing boxes just a couple months after I’ve finally hung all my pictures, it has been such a sweet season of independence, strength, and resilience. I still love my precious little town and I can’t imagine working anywhere else. Teaching is every bit as exhausting and rewarding as expected, but I survived the hardest year of teaching I could have imagined. I’m learning to find my groove. I don’t leave at dark anymore and more often than not, I’m able to step back and truly enjoy watching the magic that takes place each day! I was made for this.


2. I did spoken word to share my story.

About two years ago, I shared my story online for the first time. It ended up being a contributor post for Huffington Post and got a good bit of traction. It was terrifying. And yet somehow, while I knew everyone close to me could read it, it was easier knowing that I didn’t have to look them in the eyes while they read it. And then, in April, the nonprofit ministry I help run hosted a talk on sexual abuse. I knew from the moment I saw it on the list of topics that God was calling me to share my story publicly for the first time, but it took me a few more weeks to admit it. Most people don’t know this, but I have a minor lisp. I can assure you that nothing about it felt minor as I prepared to do spoken word about my story in front of the people I see every day. The month leading up to sharing my story was wildly hard. I noticed my lisp everyday. A few weeks prior, a relationship came to an end. I considered backing out. The week of, I wrote scriptures all over my hands to remind myself of the truth. And the night of, I showed up and did it. While I felt completely drained afterwards, the conversations that followed brought freedom and I’m so glad I did it. As Oprah said last night at the Golden Globes “What I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have.”

3. I launched a book and explored Texas with my favorite friends a second time.
Two years ago, in a late night email, I found out I was chosen to be on the launch team for Jen Hatmaker’s For the Love. Then, a few months later, I found out my endorsement was published in the front of her now New York Times bestseller. The season of excitement culminated in a huge party where Jen invited her 500 internet friends to her backyard. We all credited it to an amazing once-in-a-lifetime experience. And then she did it again- she wrote another book and threw another party in her backyard. But this time #the500 had walked through nearly 2 years of life together and we were ready.  We filled three plus days with backyard barbecues, food, and fun. These women love Jesus and love each other well. So many of them have become real-life friends and I’m so grateful for this tribe. The Texas trip was a highlight of my summer, especially since one of my very best friends Jenn came along and we made it an adventure through Waco, San Antonio and Austin. The trip was so good for my soul.


4. We closed our church doors.

This is a tough one. I wrote about it a bit this year, you can read my words here or the lovely guest post from a dear friend here. I’ll tell you this. I’m still grieving. I’m not always sure when or how, grief is tricky like that. Like this morning for instance, when a pastor’s wife asked me “So what brought you here? Do you have a background in church?” and I burst into tears as I tried to answer. Oh yes, I have a background in church….
For now, I’ll leave you with the words I spoke on our last Sunday.
Anchor Baptist church has raised me. I’ve spent more hours collectively within church walls than nearly anywhere else in my life. I’ve been here for birthdays and Christmas and nearly every season of my life has been marked by this church. I can’t look back on memories or pictures without finding your faces. You’ve taught me to love Jesus well. I’ve learned to love people well by watching you love each other, by watching you love your spouses and your kids. You made space for me in the years where I wasn’t chasing Jesus and you cheered me on when I was. There are no words for the roots this church has given me. I found Jesus here. Not within these four physical walls, but within the loving arms of fellow believers. For that, I will be forever changed and forever grateful.

5. I visited churches for the first time ever.
Oddly enough, though I’ve been in church my entire life, most of my experience has been in two churches. So, when we felt God calling us to walk away from the life we knew, I did the only thing I knew how- I kept going to church. In fact, over the last 6 months, I’ve been to a lot of churches. Getting to see how God is at work all over our city has been an incredible gift. I needed time to sit and show up where no one knew my name. I’ve been able to do that. I needed to fill my journals with sermon notes and scripture and truth that would remind me that God is good and His promises are true. And I did.
I recently wrote this about what I’ve realized these last several months.
“You’re never gonna let,
Never gonna let me down.
You are good, good, oh”

These are the words I stood and sang in church this morning with tears in my eyes. You see, over the course of the last year, I’ve battled with words like these. I so often wondered if I even theologically agree with them. Can I honestly proclaim that God will never let me down? Do I truly believe that
I sat down a few weeks ago and looked over this journal. It’s tear-stained and falling apart. I’ve written desperate, breathless prayers on my bathroom floor on its tattered pages. And I’ve prayed for good and holy things through these pages. I’ve begged God to do gospel work in relationships that ended up dying. I’ve longed for and dreamt of revival and interceded for a church that closed its doors. And if I’m honest, I’ve harbored some anger, some bitterness over what felt like silence from God. Then I turned to this page. Nearly a year ago, I began praying this prayer. All of you Jesus. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing else. It may be the only answered prayer in this journal. But it’s enough. If the only answer I ever get from my prayers is more of Jesus, it will be worth wearing out my knees and warring for that truth day and night. Because today, today I could sing with joy that the God who felt silent never truly lets me down.


6. I went to some amazing concerts.

James Arthur, OneRepublic, Johnnyswim, and getting to see my best friend in her element was icing on the cake!


7. I started writing a book.

I feel crazy even saying this out loud. I have no idea where this will go, but I’m writing. I’m prioritizing and writing and praying.


8. I got certified as a foster parent.

One of the more difficult parts of my job involves handling cases of students who are, for one reason or another, not safe or cared for at home. The issue is complex and there are no easy answers, but one solution on a larger scale is quality foster homes. The statistics on foster care are staggering. I can’t help believe that Jesus actually meant it when he told us to care for the orphan. That’s why I spent 3 hours every Sunday for ten weeks learning about the system, kids in trauma, and parenting. I had an amazing instructor and I just found out last week that I’m officially certified. I’ve got a crib, an open home, and an open heart.



Interested in foster care? Check out HopeTree Family Services.


9. I found forgiveness.

Last year, I wrote the word forgiveness on this stone. It was a tangible reminder of a spiritual goal for the year. Forgiveness is still a daily choice, but it’s one I’m committed to making over and over again.


10. I made it on the video board in Times Square.

I’m not sure that this was on my bucket list, but it totally should have been!


11. I started CrossFit.

Y’all. CrossFit is hard. I’ll never forget my first night. I ate leftover pizza 10 minutes beforehand (because obviously I was very dedicated) and I thought I might vomit on the mat all night. Earlier this week we were doing one of the workouts that I could barely even complete the first night and I realized how much stronger I am after 2 months. That’s my goal- stronger. I’ll never be a size 2 but I want to be healthy and strong and CrossFit pushes me to do that!


12. I chopped off all my hair

New cut, new color, same me. I LOVED the short hair life. I’m growing it out for the wedding but I’ll probably do another big chop right after!


13. I set healthy boundaries.

In theory, I’m amazing with boundaries. I’ve read all the books. I could coach people on healthy boundaries. In practice? My palms get sweaty when I think of hurting someone’s feelings. But this year I started. I chose healthy, even when it didn’t make everyone happy. I stood my ground and I didn’t run when things got uncomfortable. Just a few weeks ago I was having a conversation with someone close to me and they said I just feel like I let you down. A year ago, the news they’d just shared would have put me in a full-on panic attack, but this year I simply said this You can’t let me down when you’re not the thing holding me up. I want more for you than this, but you have to want it too. The best part? I meant it.

14. I chased a whole lot of sunsets.

I’m not 100% sure on this but I think Jesus put something in me that enjoys sunsets, sunrises, and starry nights a little bit more than the average human. And y’all… we chased them all this year. So good for my soul.


15. I dated (for good and for bad).

I went on more first dates this year than I have in any other year of my life. In fact, I went on some second dates. Not every relationship had a perfect ending, but I learned so much about myself in the process. Also, if you check out #16 and 17 on my list here, you’ll see that I’m finally taking the advice every youth group kid got in the 90’s and I’m “kissing dating goodbye” because……..


16. I met the one.

Last week, my future sister-in-law asked when I knew her brother was “the one”.  I think it’s a tricky concept really. I don’t believe there is one person for each of us. I don’t believe that one wrong misstep could have my “one” married off to the wrong person and me left single forever. But I do believe God puts certain things in us that mesh well with certain other people. I do believe marriage is easier when we prioritize certain attributes and character traits in our dating. And just like I believe we choose to love rather than fall in love, I believe we choose to make someone our “one” rather than finding “the one”.


For me, I got to see so many of those attributes I’d prioritized and prayed for come to life in Will as we dated. On our second date in particular, we accidentally ended up in an eerily similar situation to a previous date with a previous guy that had ended in mounting frustration and yelling. When Will handled the same situation with patience and grace, I teared up in his pickup truck. God gave me eyes to see so many of those moments that were literal answers to prayer over these last seven months and I am so grateful.

17. I got engaged.

You could say my year ended on a pretty high note. Will’s proposal was magical, thoughtful, and special. I’ll share the full story in the next couple of weeks, but for now, here’s to changing my name in 2018!


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