The month of April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. According to the Children’s Advocacy Center of Tennessee, nearly 700,000 children are victims of abuse in the US annually and 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused by their 18th birthday. This topic hits close to home for me for many reasons.
First of all, I teach in a title 1 school with high rates of childhood trauma. Every year, I handle child abuse cases. I’ve collaborated with Child Protective Services, Guardian Ad Litems, and Detectives in my role as a teacher and a mandated reporter. Bearing witness to the stories my students live is equal parts brutal and beautiful.
Additionally, my husband and I are foster parents. We have fostered a handful of teens in emergency and respite placements. Their stories, while each unique, all carry the weight of abuse or neglect in some form. Because of the privilege we’ve been given to be a small part of their stories, we’ve chosen to dive deep into training and knowledge on abuse and trauma.
But finally, and most personally, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. This issue is close to my heart because I’ve lived it. I’ve written about my story in the past here and even featured a host of other stories from guest posters of their own personal stories of sexual abuse.
A couple years ago, I performed this spoken word piece in which I shared my story with those closest to me for the first time.
I’d shared my story a few times before, but this felt extra sacred because it was face to face with my people. People who knew me well, but had never heard my story. Over the course of the next year, friends and acquaintances who shared stories much like mine came out of the wood work. I felt and continue to feel so privileged to hold space for their stories with them. If you’re reading this and happen to share a similar story, can I share some encouragement with you? I read these words in Jen Hatmaker’s book Of Mess and Moxie several years ago and posted them on my mirror as a daily reminder. Maybe you need them too.
“This is not who you are. This happened to you, but it does not define you. You are not broken. You are not ruined. You are not destined to a lifetime of sexual dysfunction. You will become the exact person God intended all along, and you will be stronger in these fragile places than you were before it happened. This is a part of your story, not the end of it, and you will overcome. Not only that; you will thrive. If God is truly strongest where we are weakest, then He will win in this place.”
These words are my prayer for you fellow survivors. Amen and amen!
This April, awareness feels extra close to my heart. With recent school closures due to COVID-19, I worry about my students and children everywhere in unsafe home environments and abusive situations. I was recently interviewed about the effect of school closures on reports of child abuse in a great article you can find here.
No doubt, there are children and adults in crisis around our world right now. Being quarantined and stuck at home can make us feel helpless but this is not the case.
In honor of Child Abuse Prevention Month, here are a few suggestions of how we can be part of the solution:
- Interested in becoming a foster parent? Now is the time! Use these free evenings to start the process. Many agencies are even doing online trainings for certification during this time.
- Support organizations like Virginia’s Kids Belong who provide advocacy, awareness and support in all avenues of the process from foster families to social workers.
- Be a good neighbor. See something? Say something. With many children away from their safety nets full of mandated reporters (school, YMCA, daycare, church), the risk for them is greater. Let’s all take on this responsibility. You can find the hotline numbers for reporting here.
- Consider becoming a CASA volunteer.
- Be a safe person for your own kids and the kids in your life. Disclosure is hard, but it’s the first step to healing. Make sure you are someone your kids and other kids can talk to if they need to.
Let’s all be part of the solution this April.