This Sweetly Broken Life

June 16, 2014 Uncategorized

Nappies, Humor, and Hard Work

When I first announced that I’d be going to South Africa and explained what I’d be doing for 6 weeks, the most common response I received was something to the effect of “aww you get to hold cute babies for 6 weeks, you are perfect for that. It will be so much fun!” and I pretty much nodded my head and agreed.

Now, halfway into this journey, I’m not sure whether to nod my head in agreement (because it isa lot of fun and the babies are way cuterthan you could imagine) or to laugh sarcastically and rattle on about how this trip is a whole lot more than cute babies and I’m so not perfect for it (which is all the more reason God has to show up, because without Him, I do not have this under control).

~It is countless sleepless nights begging God to prove Himself strong for the baby I just held moments before he was rushed to the hospital.

~ It’s not realizing any more that spit up has become a permanent accessory to my wardrobe, dried into essentially every article of clothing I own, because I have 13 babies to help care for, feed, change and prepare for their forever families and they are far more valuable than those jeans were.

~It’s only lasting until 3pm on my days off before going for a visit to the babies because I “just had to check really quick on so and so’s cough or runny nose” and then spending an hour giving hugs and kisses and wiping snotty noses because I just can’t help it.

~It’s catching myself referring to everyone as “Auntie” and using South African terms like “fetch”, “shame”, “nappie” and “sure” all the time in regular conversation.

~ It’s crying for no apparent reason except that they are perfect and I am homesick and tired and I love them more than anything I’ve ever known.

~It’s seeing God’s promise of redemption worked out in front of my eyes and praying for each one of their sweet “redeemed” stories as I watch them come to be.

~It’s trying to explain what biscuits and breakfast sausage are when no one has ever heard of either here. (Btw, they call cookies biscuits here and as of yet, I have not found anything comparable to a real biscuit to use as an example)

~It’s threatening not to share my “American” brownies and baked goodies that I made if my roommates make fun of my “American” accent or terms again 😉

~It’s wondering if the people who design baby clothes have ever actually dressed a wiggling baby in a 17 snap pajama outfit and tried to unsnap 17 snaps every time a diaper needed changing…the answer has to be no. Zippers my friends, zippers!

~It’s developing 72 new ways to make chocolate chips because we refuse to pay R30 ($3) for a bag of chocolate chips when you can buy a chocolate bar for R9.9 (99 cents). (FYI: My least favorite method so far? Cutting an entire chocolate bar with scissors…not good on the hands)

~It’s facing the fact that the sizes are different here and while your shoe size may have dropped 2 digits, your jean size has not. On the same note, it’s learning that very unlike America, people call one another “big” here as a compliment and not wanting to go on a binge diet the first time it happens to you. Big=blessed here- though certainly not in America.

~It’s realizing that, suddenly, I am the “foreigner” and there is no disguising it. Every single time we go out, someone stops and asks where I am from. They love my accent here which is so funny to me!

~It’s suddenly realizing how integral pepperonis are to a good pizza only when they aren’t a regular commodity and then being filled with loads of joy (and carbs) upon discovering the pizza place that serves pepperoni pizza.

~It’s reconciling different cultures and senses of humor to become friends with my roommates and realizing my flat encompasses people from all over the world and how, while incredibly difficult, it is equally an incredible blessing.

~It’s the first time my hands bled from constant washing. And the fact that today I hand washed well over 50 bibs and that was just one round.

~It’s the amount of prayer and spiritual dedication that goes into every worker and volunteer’s life in order to produce the patience, love and gentleness that emanates from them.

~It’s praying together, in different languages, from different cultures and spiritual upbringings, and trusting that The Lord hears every word just the way it was intended.

~It’s the fact that while I get to hold cute babies, it’s also a lot of hard work and yet, I love every single minute of it. What a blessing!

So… while a lot of my day looks like this

A good bit of it also looks like this

And this….

And this…

I have a pretty good feeling there will be a part two to this post as even I haven’t yet figured out everything that this trip is about. I’ve got a lot to learn still my friends….. Thank you for patiently and graciously supporting me and taking the time to read my thoughts. Your Facebook messages, emails and letters have carried me through and provided daily and sometimes hourly encouragement. Love you all!!

June 10, 2014 Uncategorized

Perspective, Humility and Heart Languages

There are approximately a million things going through my mind right now. I’ve been struggling to put my thoughts together well enough for a blog post that would clearly convey what I’m learning. My life in the last 2 weeks has changed completely, it has been turned utterly upside down. I’m thousands and thousands of miles away from everything I know. And yet, somehow I’m making a new normal here. It’s been by far the hardest experience of my life, but I’m learning not to confuse hard with bad. That’s something we do, we assume that hard and bad are synonymous and they’re not. In the last 2 weeks, I’ve been stretched to my limits physically and emotionally and it’s been an amazing journey. I’ve learned more about myself and The Lord in two weeks than many months combined.

One of the biggest things I’ve learned so far is that life is all about perspective. It’s entirely about the lens that you look through. I work 11 hour shifts, I can see them as long and draining or I can see them as spending as much time with these precious babies as I can before I return to America. I get spit up on multiple times a day and last week I was vomited on three days in a row. I can see that as gross and inconvenient or I can have a heart filled with compassion and see a sick little girl who desperately needs me to hold her and love her even after the fourth time she throws up on me. I can see being far away from all the things I know, love and miss as lonely and sink into self-pity or I can use this time to focus and to grow as a person and as a Christian with no distractions. I can become frustrated because communicating seems so much harder than I anticipated or I can humble myself and be patient with myself and with others. I can invest in them and listen slowly and carefully to hear their stories. Basically, I can choose to make this about me or about others. God has been teaching me a LOT about my pride and this has most certainly been a humbling experience. I was reminded today of something Clayton King preached this year. “God wants to do a work in you, before he will ever do a work through you”. I trust that there will be plenty of stories to tell about the awesome things that I get to watch God accomplish through this trip, but right now I’m in the what God is accomplishing inme phase. I have a feeling that when that phase comes first, the end result is better! I’ve learned that while I’m here improving the quality of these babies’ lives, they are in return doing just as much to improve the quality of mine.

One of my favorite stories of the trip thus far is what I experienced on Sunday. I just finished reading a book about the persecuted church called The Insanity of God and I had been feeling incredibly grateful for the freedom to worship with other believers. At the same time, I hadn’t had that experience in two weeks. I was super excited to attend church Sunday, but I wasn’t sure what to expect. While people here speak English and are great, communicating has still been really difficult and I have certainly experienced culture shock. As Marcelle would say, they speak English here and I speak “American”. Therefore, I wondered what church would be like. The persecuted believers I read about in the book talked about the importance of a heart language. Sunday, at church, I discovered that South African believers and I share a heart language. Our heart language is worship. I literally got chills as I worshiped the same God with South African believers that I do back home with fellow American believers. We sang the same songs and, suddenly, accents and confusion about language disappeared. All those things were unimportant, because together we shared a common bond. We were unified in worship and that, I believe, is a small glimpse of heaven. Sunday was an enormous encouragement and I was so grateful for that experience!

Read a verse this morning that I am absolutely claiming and dwelling on throughout this trip.

The Lord will prove Himself strong to those whose hearts are completely committed to Him. 2 Chronicles 16:9

So, in summary, this has been one of the hardest and best experiences all at the same time because hard and bad are so not synonymous. I’m so blessed to share this journey with each of you and I’m so grateful for your prayers, love, and support. I can’t wait to return and tell you all tons of stories and show you all of the beautiful babies I’m blessed to work with!

P.S. After writing this post, I discovered that I would really need that verse I memorized. We are needing God to show Himself strong tonight at Door of Hope and in Joburg because we had 4 babies rushed to the ER this week, one of them was one of my babies I worked with today. We need your prayers big time! God is going to prove Himself strong!

May 30, 2014 Uncategorized

South Africa Reflections Week 1

So, I’ve been in South Africa approximately 2 days now… I’m not sure I have the composure to tell you all how I feel yet. It’s been tough, interesting and amazing, but I’m not sure I can write paragraphs yet haha I need more reflection time. So, for now you get just a few reflections.

~This is hard. Like harder than I ever could have imagined. I refuse to sugarcoat and have committed to be honest about my experience. It’s hard emotionally, it’s been hard and draining physically as well. It’s hard to balance loving this place and being thousands of miles away from so many other things I love. It’s hard not knowing anyone. It’s hard work, 11 hours a day, 4 days in a row, on my feet constantly. I knew it would be hard, but I’m not sure I could have prepared for this. I assure you though, it’s worth it.

~ It’s everything I imagined and more. The babies are incredible, such precious, loving children. Every single one of them is just beautiful. I sat and cried today while feeding them, because I just know God has this amazing plan for every single one of them. He’s redeeming their stories already, right here in this place, and I am so incredibly humbled to be a part of it.

~God is so present in this place. It might be one of the few things we all have in common actually. Though we don’t share much else in common, we share our faith and we do so graciously and openly. We pray together (in different languages often) and every single precious child in our home has a life verse above their bed because we just know that God promises to do great things in their lives.

~ I make life so much more difficult than it really is. In the past 4 days, I have gone without so, so many things I find to be vital at home (a straightener, blow dryer, cell phone, regular internet access, a car, access to “American foods” and so much more) and you know what, I’m okay. Life is simple here. We do our work, make our food, eat and enjoy the outdoors, reading and studying God’s Word. I’ve been able to make time for things I don’t do nearly as much as I should at home. I’ve had a great time with The Lord every day and I’ve been journaling and reading.

~A few random things- we leave doors open, like everywhere all the time. Even though we live in a dangerous area and the crime is real, the doors are always open. Weird, I know. The ants are awful… I noticed the first night that we have tons of bug spray under the sink, now I know why. Leave one crumb and they’re everywhere. They have a mall, like yes a real mall, just like in America. Honestly, it’s a whole lot nicer than the Lynchburg mall haha. Lastly, South African winters are not winter hahah. I knew it wouldn’t be cold per say, but it’s hot. Like, in America I’d go to the beach, hot 😉

That’s all for now guys. I promise better, more thorough updates will come, but for now this is a quick summary of my first couple days. Thank you so much for all of your prayers, they’re getting me through and I am loving the cards some of you sent! Keep the prayers coming 🙂

April 11, 2014 Uncategorized

Tread Lightly… A Plea for Grace and Discernment

You know what I’d like to be doing right now? Sleeping.

This was not one of those blog posts where the thought came to me and I rushed to find paper and write it down before I excitedly pulled out my laptop and formulated an inspirational outline of my thoughts.

In fact this was not a post I wanted to write at all…

You see, this isn’t something I have come out on the other side of and can wisely say “here’s what God taught me, let me help you through it.”

If anything, my authority on this subject rests largely in the fact that I am the biggest of failures in this area. I admit it, hand held high in the air, it’s me. I fail regularly at this and that is the closest to any wisdom I have on the matter.

So with a heavy heart, I write. I write for me as much as for you and I plead with you to extend grace as you read what is likely one of the rawest blog posts I’ve written. It won’t be polished or pretty, but it will be my heart.

In the last week or so, my world was greatly impacted by a private situation that was blasted on news media of all sorts. Within 12 hours, a private issue became a matter of international news.

For me, it’s not a “situation” or an “issue,” I don’t have the luxury to remove myself from the situation and see it as clearly as I wish I could because it is a part of my life. I am living it out in the very moments I type this post.

As an employee of Timberlake Christian School, I quickly became the target of substantial amounts of hate alongside each of my loving, kind coworkers.

For us, it’s far more than a headline-

It’s the reason we have been bashed, threatened and labeled

It’s the reason I now enter work with a grateful glance and hopeful hello to the officer who spends all day ensuring our safety amidst the many received threats

It’s the reason I have spent many a night in the last week wide awake, wondering, praying and battling with my beliefs

It’s the reason I’ve bit my tongue hard and the reason I’ve wished I could reel back in my words and erase any trace

It’s the reason I’ve sat awake with tears in my eyes and a pit in my stomach because there are real people, very real people on both sides of this and every issue who are oh so wounded and broken

Today, Pastor Bryan released a lengthy and detailed statement filled with grace, love and integrity. Reading his words and being reminded of the strength and depth of the love that I am surrounded with at work was like water to this thirsty, anxious soul.

(You can read his letter, which outlines the situation with accuracy and grace here: http://tcs4u.org/timberlakeuserfiles/file/tcs_parents_letter.pdf)

For me though, the lessons I’ve been learning this week go so much farther than this situation and or the many others we are daily bombarded with, from the World Vision controversy to the Noah movie or the resignation of two prominent pastors and the hundreds of other controversial issues I could list, there is much more to be learned.

We (or should I say I? this one is so preaching to the choir) need to learn to tread lightly with our words. If Satan is the lion who seeks to kill and destroy, I believe his den with this generation is the internet. We need to learn to have these deep, meaningful and even important conversations in the correct contexts. If you really respect someone enough to discuss and argue your opinions, do it in a face to face situation in which words and intentions are far less likely to be misconstrued. Do it within the relationships that you have gained the respect and the right to speak truth into someone’s life. These are the only discussions that lead to any real change in mindset anyway.

You know when the last time I saw someone change their mind because of a well worded comment on social media was? Never. Social media is not the evil, it’s how we use it. Issues of the heart were never meant to be debated this way.

And while we’re on this can I go ahead and publicly apologize? I’ve sought to be very cautious with my words in these last couple of weeks, but I’m sure that I have said or typed something that was not loving, kind, or a reflection of Christ. And for that, I’m sorry. Walk with me on this journey of growth and maturity with my words. Even as I decided whether or not to publish this post, I asked for prayer and sent it to the people who have earned the right to speak truth in my life and I asked them to check me and help me examine my motives and my words. I’m a work in progress.

Ultimately, most of the things we fight about are gray issues, I’m not sure we will ever come to a conclusion, but what I do fear will happen is that Satan will effectively accomplish his goal by distracting us through petty arguments. Our role as the church is not determined by the changing trends, opinions or news. We rest and find our unity in the unchanging Word of God and I pray that we never forget that. When I wake up tomorrow, regardless of the latest headline, debate, or public failure of Christians, my job will remain the same. We’re called to go and make disciples and to be known by our love and I pray that will be true.

I refuse to be a battleground or a platform for hate. Satan does not need anymore voices in this battle. The comments are open, but I urge you to use wisdom, discernment and love in your responses and know that if not, I will delete them. You are entitled to your opinion, but as I stated, I will not allow this forum to be used for hate. Please, write your own blogs in indignant disagreement with me if you choose, but as this is my space, I will monitor and I will delete anything hateful. Please let’s lay down our weapons at the altar and pick up the burdens of our brothers and sisters instead. Let’s refuse to be voices of hate, but let’s lighten each other’s loads and extend the version of grace we expect to receive.

I believe in you church, I know you’re still there, brimming with potential. And maybe, maybe some of you are feeling heavy with words you’ve already spewed and cannot take back. I’ve been there. Say I’m sorry and move on. Do not be defined by yesterday’s regrets, but by tomorrow’s potential. Because His grace covers all of us, from the angry, sword raising arrow slinging, recovering Christian to the many faces in media whose lives are turned upside down and criticized. God loves each of us and His grace is big enough for us. I pray that we will be a generation and a voice remembered for our love and not our arguments. I pray that we will lay down our need to be “right” in honor of a king who laid down everything on our behalf.

So there it is, the post I didn’t want to write. What I wanted to do was craft a series of strongly worded Facebook statuses and comments parading my version of the “truth” for everyone and putting people in their place, but what would it accomplish? When surrounded by an issue on which I could not legally and professionally comment on my opinion, I quickly learned how small and insignificant my opinion really is in the grand scheme of things.

The truth, as if any of us will ever discover it all on any issue, does not need my defending and even if it did, I’m not so sure I’m a worthy defender.

So, last week, I learned a lot to just shut the screen and get on my knees, because that’s where hearts really begin to change and little did I know, mine was first on the list.

March 10, 2014 Uncategorized

Everyone Has a Story

The shortest distance between two people is a story.

Patti Digh

I went on one of the most interesting train rides of my life yesterday. You know what made it different from every other trip I’ve ever been on? I stopped and really saw the people around me. I listened, I talked and I shared life with people, most of whom I had never met before…

I think we’ve lost that, the ability to really see people, not just their appearance or their voices or their masks, but who they are underneath it all.

Our first instinct (admittedly mine as well) is to pull out our electronics and strive for connection. We search for human connection, but ignore the vast opportunities that sit, literally, right next to us.

Yesterday, we chose a different route. We became friends with a complete stranger and shared our stories, our opinions, our thoughts. We welcomed others into our conversations as well and thereby got to share in their lives. We listened to what happened around us and made ourselves aware. We prayed, we hurt for people and we asked God to show up. And He did. In the coolest of ways, we got to see the gospel presented and we started to wonder how many of these situations we have missed.

We went through a thousand things that, if they had happened, would have caused us to miss these moments:

If we had sat in our original seats

If we had put in headphones

If we had caught up on the sleep we lost all week

If we had not sat in silence at the end of the evening because we were tired and just listened to those around us

I’d be willing to bet that these opportunities have been far more present in my life than I realize. I have likely drowned many of them out with distractions. I’ve focused more on my technology, my work, myself, and chosen to isolate myself from those around me.

I don’t want that to be my life though. I want to see people, to hear their stories, and to care. I want them to see Jesus through the intensity with which I genuinely listen and care about them. I want to be a representation of the way that He chooses to invest in our lives though He doesn’t have to in any way.

So this morning, I started fresh, again. I decided to be gentle with other people’s stories and their hearts.

I walked into church and I saw people in a completely different way.

Instead of the single mom with the screaming toddler, I saw a strong woman who had undoubtedly spent all morning running and chasing an energetic child and still managed to get him to church. I didn’t see the mismatched socks, unwashed hair or tired eyes, I saw a woman who, with all of her might, invested in her child. A woman who cares about her child’s eternity and, even after the nightly bedtime battle, pulls out the juice stained child’s devotion book and reads to her baby. And then she kneels down on tired knees and teaches her baby to pray, through countless interruptions and giggles and rejoices the first time he says a prayer on his own, even if he is asking God for more cookies tomorrow.

Hey mom, it’ll pay off. Those sleepless nights, hurried mornings and every time you answered “why” just one more time. You are raising a world-changer; stay in the fight, you will both survive and your hard work will pay off.

Instead of the older woman with wrinkles and a worn demeanor who sat down alone, I saw a woman who has spent countless night on her knees praying that just once, her husband would come with her. I saw the marks of a thousand laughs gently grazing the sides of her face. She doesn’t give up, or get bitter, she just goes home and loves him well, shows him grace and prays again. She comes back each Sunday, sits alone and praises the God in whom she finds the strength to get up and face a broken marriage every day.

I see you, oh tired soul, I do. I stand with you and I pray with you. And I believe, I really do, that one day he will come around. Keep loving well, keep praying.

In the troubled teen, I see potential. In the tired businessman, I see the dad who works hard to provide for his family. All of a sudden, people have stories and I am intrigued. I care deeply and I desire to know them and to help carry their burdens with and for them.

This, this is the attitude I want to mark my life. I want to know a thousand stories and to learn to handle people’s hearts and lives gently.

I wonder how much would change if we all really loved this way. It’s hard to hate someone when you understand where they’re coming from.

This morning, I heard my first sermon on lent. The pastor encouraged us to look at lent differently this year and to worry more about what we were moving toward than what we were moving away from.

This is what I want to move toward this year- not for the next 40 days, but for the next 40 years. I want to move towards the eyes of Christ, towards knowing other’s stories and loving them well.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

February 14, 2014 Uncategorized

God Will Open Doors….

The long awaited Africa post…here it is.

I’ve thought about this for many, many nights and for some reason, I have struggled so much to put my heart into words surrounding this subject. Maybe it is because I’m still not sure myself on all the why or how details.

You see, this journey I’ve taken the last six months or so has so little to do with me. I’m no longer in control and while this can be glorious and fulfilling, it is also absolutely terrifying.

In August, God awakened my heart to an idea that was beyond what I considered realistic. Through running into an old friend, a journey started that day that led me to the coming adventure to Africa. A friend of mine volunteered years ago at an abandoned baby home in Johannesburg called Door of Hope. Since the day she returned, that ministry has held a special place in my heart. I’ve prayed about it, researched it and more, but I never thought I’d actually go. That night in August though, Sarah said to me “Go to the website. Check it out. Think about applying.”

After the event, I got home and late that night I sat in my bed looking at pictures of sweet African children and weeping. My heart was stirred in a way I had never before experienced and I knew I had to go. I didn’t know how, why, when or anything else, but I was, maybe for the first time in my life, completely sure that this was part of God’s plan.

It’s funny how the world gets in the way though. I had my night, I was sure, and then just like that, I was back in the real world. I was working and preparing to move back to college and Africa was quietly swept under the rug. I moved back in at college and several weeks later, I found an email in a stack of papers. The email was dated 3 years to the date from the day I moved back and it was simply entitled “God Will Open Doors..”. It was from one of my greatest spiritual mentors who has since gone to be with the Lord. You know what it was about? Africa. She was praying, 3 years in advance, that God would make clear the path He had for me to serve at this exact place. I don’t even remember mentioning the ministry to her, but obviously I had and because of how in tune with God she was, she recognized the importance. And boy was she right, God has opened doors. It still gives me chills to think about the perfect words she had written and prayed with such foresight. That’s God y’all.

And so, I wept… again. And I said to God for the first time “maybe” as if I really had a choice. I started talking to friends about it and I filled out the application. There were so many other “God moments” I could tell you about that it would fill a book. God brought me a sweet group of friends who began praying for me (and putting up with a lot of tears.. it was a confusing time haha) and He sent me a sweet, sweet friend who had traveled the world and allowed her heart to be opened and her life to be changed and she encouraged me to do the same, even when it was scary.

The funny thing was when I went to submit my application, I hit a roadblock. I had read somewhere that they offered a six week option and suddenly there was nothing shorter than 3 months. I stopped, I prayed and I sent the application anyways explaining that I only had the summer, about six weeks, but I really felt God calling me. I sent the application and I waited. I waited and prayed.

While I was filling out the application, I realized that I hadn’t even mentioned this to my parents. On a long car ride home, I poured my heart out to my mom with all that God had been doing for the last several weeks and she smiled. She’s been a missionary overseas and has prayed since I was a little girl that I would follow God in the most radical ways and that she and my dad would have the grace to let me. My dad gave me the same blessing and I am so grateful that they have always supported me when it comes to following God’s leading. After an agreement to take a self-defense class and get them some more details, I knew I had their blessing.

About a week later, back at school, I woke up to an email saying that after much consideration I had been accepted as a special case for 6 weeks.

Since that day, I’ve set the dates, prayed and cried some more, bought a plane ticket, wrestled with fear and raised some money. God has also provided a gracious, sweet lady from my church who lovingly offered to fly with me to Africa and help me settle in.

It’s been a whirlwind since that night in August and I know that my life will never return to the certainty and control that I had before. There are a million reasons that I shouldn’t go:
– I’ve never flown before
– I’m traveling alone (now with the friend) and not with a group
– Johannesburg is dangerous, like really dangerous, especially for young women
– I have a job offer and other plans for summer that are safe and comfortable
There are so many more, but then there’s one reason to go that exceeds all others and it’s just God. It’s the Great Commission, it’s caring for the orphans and the widows, it’s following where God leads me. God never once called me to be safe and secure, but He has called me to follow Him with reckless abandon and that’s what I fully intend to do. There is beauty in the faith that God builds when we follow Him without knowing all of the details. I don’t know where the money will come from to pay for the rest of my trip, I can’t be sure that I will spend my trip in safety. There are lots of unknowns, but there is one thing that is always certain and when the ground beneath my feet shakes, I learn to cling to Him and His strength even more.The greatest part is, my life didn’t change the moment I stepped off the plane into another country, it changed the moment I gave up control. There’s not a landmark of significance, but rather a beaten and traveled road, well worn from the journey.Walking with Christ is an everyday experience.

If there is one thing I have learned through it all it’s this- my life is not my own, it’s completely and utterly God’s, but I can choose to hold onto it white knuckled, with clenched fists, fear, and the false assurance of control or I can humbly hold up my empty hands to Christ and say “It’s yours, all of it, completely. Do with it what you want and I will follow.” The latter is an incredible journey and to be caught in the oceans of God’s grace keenly aware that you have let go is full, oh so full of joy and peace.

January 10, 2014 Uncategorized

9 Ways to Encourage Your Pastor and His Family

I read a blog post the other morning entitled “5 Ways to Discourage Your Pastor” (which you can check out here http://rickwhitter.com/2014/01/04/5-ways-to-discourage-your-pastor/). It was on point and while there are a million things I could add to the list, I wonder if maybe the church needs some practical ways to do the exact opposite. How do you encourage your pastor? So here it is 9 ways… read up and let me know your thoughts.

1. Attend services– This seems like a duh, he wouldn’t be your pastor if you didn’t right? Okay yes, but do you really attend your church’s events and services? Are you fully there or are you making ten to-do lists in your head? Be fully present, engage in services. Come, and be on time. Come not just to Sunday morning, but check out special events, Sunday nights, Wednesday nights. Don’t just come, but bring your family. Make church a priority. Your church staff pours lots of preparation and energy into the services, but if you don’t show up, it gets discouraging. They can make flashy invitations and practically bribe you, but ultimately it is the choice you make. Where does church fall on your priority list?

2. Use your gifts and talents in the church– Study up on spiritual gifts and you’ll find that they are given for use in the local church. This means that it is a natural expectation that you will use them to serve the Lord in your church. Did God give you the gift of organizing? Singing? Teaching? Leadership? Whatever it is, before you burn yourself out using it at work and home make sure you are offering your “first fruits” to God through your local church.

3. Serve, without being asked– I can’t tell you the number of times that a pastor has announced a position needing filled or a task that needs to be done for months. Eventually, one of two things will happen. Either one of the people already doing a million things will take it on and spread themselves a little thinner or a staff member will approach someone personally and they will say something along the lines of “sure I’d love to”. Number one is wrong for the obvious reasons, believe me, the 80-20 rule is very real in most local churches. Number two.. it’s great that you want to help, but save your church staff some effort and volunteer when they announce the need. If you are able or feel called to do it, volunteer, don’t make them ask you. Too often, we expect that somebody else will do it and in the end, no one does it.

4. Speaking of serving, demonstrate commitment– When you take on a task in the church do it wholeheartedly until for some reason you decide that you can’t. At that point, ask others if they can cover the task for you and let your leadership know you cannot be responsible for it any longer. One of the most draining things about being in ministry is taking on all of the abandoned tasks that people fail to complete. When something is new and glamorous, people volunteer. Six months down the road, they often complete their duties half-heartedly and late, if at all. Exercise the same commitment you expect from others and stick to your responsibilities.

5. Don’t leave the responsibility of discipling your kids to your church’s children’s ministry– While Sunday School teachers and Children’s ministers do their best, they cannot be solely responsible for the spiritual growth of your children. Your kids will spend 2 hours a week on average at church compared to the hundreds they spend elsewhere, make sure you are living an authentic Christian life to lead them by example and focus on their spiritual growth at home too. Pray with them, do a nightly devotion. Let them see you praying for them and reading your Bible. Together, we can do this!

6. Defend your pastor and his family and your church and its staff privately and publicly– Be the first to put in a good word for your church in the community . Speak highly of your church and the staff there in their presence and behind their backs. When you are touched by their leadership or kindness, thank them. I guarantee they will be grateful. Critics tend to speak loudly and have lots to say. Be the exception. And when something happens that you disagree with, don’t try to raise support for your side through gossip, instead approach the person or leader directly and talk through the issue. Above all, defend your pastor, his family, your church and the staff in the best way possible, on your knees. Pray regularly for all those in leadership of the church, they face battles you will likely never hear of, but you can fight for them daily through prayer.

7. Guard your Pastor’s time with his family– While my family has been blessed to minister in churches that were extremely supportive of family time, this is not always the case. Remember, that just like you, your pastor has a family and he needs to be present for them. There will be times that he needs to be a dad or a husband more than he needs to be a pastor. I will always be grateful for a church family that not only supported, but encouraged my dad to be at softball games and chorus concerts instead of committee meetings and church events. Your pastor will be able to better serve your church when you allow him to be the kind of dad and husband God has called him to be as well. Far too many a pastor has ended in divorce with a family torn apart because the church had more of him than his family did. Refuse to allow that; guard his time and be the first to insist that he be with his family for the big stuff.

8. When you see a need in the church, instead of complaining, take the opportunity to meet it– From little things like taking the trash out and watering plants to things like visiting a sick member. It’s the simple, practical things that your staff (especially if you attend a small church) occasionally forgets. The stapler that always jams when you use it? Buy the church a new one if you can afford it. Practically meeting the needs of the church takes one more thing off of your church staff and speaks volumes of care. Instead of making it known that these haven’t been done, take out the trash, water the plants and visit the member.

9. Lastly, be a joyful giver– As a Christian, it’s our duty to tithe ten percent, but studies show that the majority of Christians don’t. If they give at all, they rarely tithe the called for ten percent. Your willingness to tithe and give an offering above and beyond that is a sign of spiritual growth and maturity. Your pastor will feel supported and encouraged when you take this step of maturity. It speaks highly of the value you place on your church and your relationship with Christ.

As a “pastor’s kid” for the entirety of my 19 years of life, I have grown to love the local church. It is my heart. This is in no way a criticism of the church, but instead practical tools to help us build each other up! My family has been so blessed by the faithful, loving body of Christ in the years we have been in the ministry. So, in closing, thank you. To those of you who pray for us, encourage us and work for the Kingdom alongside us, you are not overlooked. We are so grateful for the opportunity to serve Christ and seek His glory alongside you. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

January 3, 2014 beauty, Biblical womanhood, brokenness, chivalry, church, dating, femininity, forgiveness, gender roles, God, grace, heart, I am sorry, loved, marriage, masculinity, porn, relationships, sex, women

I’m Sorry…

We’ve never met. As a matter of fact, most of you I may never meet. But I owe you an apology….

To the guy who picks up his Bible instead of the Playboy magazine, to the guy who closes his laptop even though no one is watching, to all of you who hold doors, give up seats and through action and word choose to respect the women in your life every day. To the man who never lets a woman’s careless behavior absolve his responsibility to respect and value her. I’m sorry.

You see I grew up in a “boys will be boys” culture. From an early age I learned that men were pigs. I learned to hold my own doors and never ever to need you. God forbid that I should need a man’s help or be vulnerable. I learned that every compliment had hidden intentions, that I should cover up, cross my legs, and leave you in the dust like the independent woman I was expected to be. That’s what society taught me…. and they were wrong.

I’m sorry that we bought into the lie that you were an animal incapable of controlling yourself

I’m sorry that I believed you were all the same

I’m sorry that we lowered the bar and settled for guys who didn’t respect us

I’m sorry that I never took a deeper look into all my misconceptions

I’m sorry that we turned your chivalrous acts into demeaning displays of our weakness

I’m sorry that we cheapened masculinity by making it nothing more than sex, women, and physical strength

We got it wrong -society, myself, the church- we all did.

There are plenty of men in the world who fit every stereotype I just mentioned, but then there’s you- the ones I’m actually apologizing to.

Whether you’re 14 or 40, single or married, you fight a daily battle to keep your mind and heart pure for the woman who will one day deserve it. You choose our worth and value over your temporary satisfaction or pleasure. Thank you.

We need you. As our brothers, our fathers, our friends, our spouses, we need you.

We need you to validate our worth as more than the number we see on a scale; we need you to tell us that we are treasured and valued because of Whose we are not because of what we do.

At some point and time society decided that wasn’t okay. It wasn’t acceptable for a woman to need a man, in fact it was weakness. The Bible speaks very differently about gender roles though.

God created us to need each other. Gender roles are more about our souls/spiritual lives and strengths/weaknesses complementing each other when we use them correctly than they are about who makes dinner. A man’s strength guards a woman’s heart and provides a chance for her to be vulnerable. We need that leading as women whether we like to admit it or not. A man’s strength (spiritually speaking, as a leader) should enhance a woman’s beauty by allowing her to be vulnerable. Mutually, a woman’s need for a leader requires a man’s strength and validates him.

This gets all screwed up in our society because guys grow up learning to disrespect women and girls grow up learning to demonize men and be completely independent. We are told to be strong, independent women and never rely on anyone because that simply leads to heartbreak. Most of the women I know have no idea how to be vulnerable because society doesn’t allow it, but the church should be working to redefine what it means to be a godly man or woman today!

So I’m sorry for not saying it sooner, but I see you; we see you. We notice when you choose respect us because it’s a choice you make daily. We notice and we’re grateful. Keep it up. And no matter how many times we act like we don’t, we need you. We need godly men who are respectful not just as our future spouses but as our friends, as our brothers in Christ.

So to you who make that choice every day, I’m sorry for not giving you the thanks you deserve. Thank you. From every girl out there trying her best to represent Biblical womanhood- thank you for making the journey a bit easier!

October 27, 2013 Uncategorized

Blessings in the Brokenness

Can I just take a minute and address something I’ve heard so often lately?

In the last several weeks I have heard over and over again stories of people who were in tough, trying situations and prayed out to God saying they would spend their life serving Him if He would simply rescue them. I’ve also heard over and over again people say “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”

Wait. Can we just admit that both of those things give a totally skewed view of the God we serve?!

God will absolutely give you more than you can handle because in those times you must rely on His strength. This is when He teaches us the most. If we could handle everything on our own, why would we ever reach out to God? He will never give you more than you can handle with Him but often we forget the last part.

And as far as the first set of stories go, I’m not saying they aren’t true or that those people are wrong, but I do believe this sends a confusing message to hurting people. If I pray that same prayer and I am left in my situation does God love me less? Do those people have a formula for prayer that I don’t know? Because God doesn’t always work that way as much as we might hope. We don’t get to bargain with God to get what we want. He’s not looking for in the moment, rash promises, but rather lives fully devoted to Him long-term. And I’d argue that those lives are developed amidst these very trials. They are developed when God says “No, this is not going to disappear. I’m not calming the storm right now, but I will calm you and teach you if you will come to Me.”

God is sovereign. He knows that sometimes we need the flame in our life in order to be refined.

I think one of the most beautiful stories I have heard concerning this is a metaphor relating to God as shepherd and us as sheep. Shepherds sometimes have sheep that simply will not follow them. They get lost, stray from the path and put themselves in great danger by leaving the flock. When this happens, a shepherd will break that sheep’s legs.

I get it, this sounds really cruel, but wait.

With its legs broken, the sheep must be carried everywhere. Therefore, this is really more of a burden on the shepherd. But after weeks of the shepherd carrying the sheep around keeping it safe and close during its healing, the sheep will walk again. After this experience, the sheep will never wander or stray because it has been carried and has come to know and love the shepherd.

I think this makes a great picture of our walk with God. Sometimes God allows us to stay in a broken state so that He can carry us. So we will learn to love Him and know Him more. So that when we can walk again, we will know His love so much that we would never stray again.

I know this has been true in my life, in the brokenness I have come to know God in ways I never could have in the calm seas.

What broken situation is God allowing you to remain in so that you can call to Him and come to know Him more?

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 34:18 ESV

I like how The Message puts it even more-

“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;
if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.”

Psalm 34:18

September 13, 2013 Uncategorized

His Mercies are New Every Morning: Hope for the Busy Heart

Someone asked me tonight how on earth I was balancing all the different things in my life right now (college classes, working every day, being on student leadership, etc). I laughed and responded that I don’t sleep (which is true many times), but as the night has passed, I am realizing that answer was all wrong.

How am I doing it all? By God’s grace alone. There is so, so much truth in Lamentations 3:22-23 “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed; for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

We serve a God who is so, so faithful and He truly does provide new mercies for us each and every morning. It is one thing to know this promise and another to experience it- to need it to be true in your life. He promises in Jeremiah 29:13 that we will find Him if we seek Him. Could we be any more blessed? What a privilege it is to serve a loving and personal God!

A good friend once told me that God asks us to pray for daily bread, not bread for the next month. If there is one thing I am learning in the season of chaos and busyness, it is that seeking the Lord is a daily process and when we seek Him, He promises to provide. It’s not always about having strength for the week, but rather strength for the moment. When I cannot rely on my own strength any longer, I am forced to search for God’s strength moment by moment.

And then even after God shows me that I can’t do it on my own, I still try over and over again. I fail. I get back up and refocus on God. You know the beautiful thing about our Savior though? He is faithful, even when I am faithless. (2 Timothy 2:13)

So my friends, that is how I am surviving this crazy season of life and I could not be more grateful for the opportunities it has given me to grow closer to the Lord. With His mercy and joy, I can and will continue to live out His calling on my life and I pray you will as well.

Joshua 1:9 “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”